Tuesday, August 7, 2012


I wonder if spiders sometimes see their reflection and go, "AHHH!!!"

My daughter, a quite observational young lady, suggested that the pronunciation word fire should be officially changed to fiyah! (exclamation included), being that’s how it’s always pronounced in every fantasy movie and heavy metal song ever made. It does sound cooler that way.

Peanut Butter makes damn near everything taste better.

Stop acting outraged by crap spewed by people like Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter and Bill O’Reilly. You are reacting exactly like they want you to. Haven’t you figure it out yet? What they are doing is an act (just like Andrew Dice Clay in the 90s). No one but the truly insane would boast being that jingoistic, racist, homophobic, misinformed, apathetic & misogynistic unless they are doing it for attention.

You know what's so cool about Ozzy Osbourne? The fact that he's not really a great singer, he knows he's not really a great singer, and he's open about the fact he's not really a great singer. Still, try to imagine anyone else singing his songs. Can't be done.

As a professional educator, of course I understand the importance of reading and math skills, but not at the expense of everything else necessary to function in the real world, such as being able to read a non-digital clock. Every year, not only do I have an increasing number of students unable to tell time, but they think it's totally reasonable to lack such a rudimentary skill.

More people need to be hit over the head with a shovel.

The number of folks who snap a picture of themselves for their own Facebook page shows just how alone so many of them really are.

Maybe if some people stopped spending their waking hours looking for racism, it would simply go away.

Try this experiment sometime...go to a mall, or simply walk down the street, and count the number of people you physically bump into because they automatically expect you to move out of their way.

I wish my iPad knew when my finger accidentally touched a link I didn’t intend to.

I would have enjoyed the opening ceremonies of the 2012 Summer Olympics a lot more if the NBC announcers would have just shut the hell up once in awhile.

To those of you douchbags who love to claim you’re ‘keepin’ it real’...what exactly are you keeping real?

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