Thursday, April 12, 2012

Kitten Kibbles

Due to the number of hits I've been getting on my recent Dave's Movie Guide posts, I've started a new blogsite exclusively for those, imaginatively titled, Dave's Movie Guide. That's where you'll find more reviews of the classic & not-so-classic movies I have felt compelled to write about.

I think it would be funny to dress up as an airline pilot, find a corner booth in an airport lounge and start slamming back martinis. Then, after about an hour, check my watch, slap my head and slur, "Oh crap! I'm late for the Fresno run!"

I'm sad to say neither of my young adult books (Killer Cows & Shaken) is selling too well right now. Both have been getting good reviews, but it's been damned hard getting the word out about them. Doubly frustrating is numerous websites have requested free copies for review, but few of them have followed-through. I share the same disappointment as fellow Echelon authors have recently expressed regarding this. I dunno, I always believed people should come-through on their promises, or not make promises to begin with. As it stands, I gave out a lot of free copies of Shaken for no reason whatsoever. If I'd have known the outcome of my efforts, I'd have given those copies to my friends.

Being someone who is snobbish enough to automatically rebel against something that becomes massively popular, I have to admit The Hunger Games is one of the best books I've read over the past few years. In fact, once I finished it (in one night), I couldn't wait to see the movie, even though it's the biggest piece of cinematic pop culture since Twilight. On the other hand, once I opened up a recent issue of People magazine, which presented the results of a dumbass Team Peeta vs. Team Gale pole, I wanted to puke. What the hell does Team (insert name here) even freaking mean, anyway!?! It's a goddamned movie, not a platform through which to declare your adoring allegiance to some teenaged hottie.

Feeling bored? Try challenging a total stranger to a pillow fight.

Am I the only one who will mourn the day when all forms of physical media (CDs, DVDs, books) are a thing of the past?

I just watched Titanic with my seven year old daughter, and at the end, even she wondered why Rose didn't just scoot over to let Jack out of the freezing water.

I'm starting to get irritated at the number of my Facebook friends who use the network to spew their political leanings by posting 'clever' photos slamming this guy-or-that-guy, this-policy-or-that-policy, with the presumption that all of their Facebook friends share the same opinions.

Has anyone else ever noticed that American Idol voting results are only considered worthy of being included on nightly news broadcasts by the same channels that also air the show?

Why are so many people still debating whether or not those New Orleans Saints players and coaches involved in the bounty scandal should be banned from the NFL for life, while Michael Vick was welcome back with open arms?

Once I finish building my time machine, I plan to go back, find the first person who decided people should get up as early as possible to go to their jobs, and kill him.

I'm a teacher, and my district is threatening to go on strike, which has recently been reported in the local news. It's amazing how many people, most of whom haven't set foot in a classroom in decades, suddenly think they know everything about my profession. Maybe I should select one of them, show up where they work and say, "Hey, buddy...I think you should do the same thing for a thousand bucks less per month. I know all about your job because I shopped-in-your-store/drove-by-your-factory once, so I know you don't work that hard."

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