Shaken, My Next YA Novel, in Light of Real Events

About two years ago, I finished my second novel, Shaken, about an Oregon coastal town ravaged by an earthquake and tsunami, as seen through the eyes of three teenagers. It is scheduled to be released by Echelon Press /Quake this August.


In the meantime, we all know what just happened in Japan recently.

No, I’m not the first author to write about an earthquake or tsunami disaster, but I did do a lot of research when outlining the ‘what if’ storyline. Lately I've seen the same ‘what if’ scenario on TV every night, with countless quake experts offering their speculative insights on what would happen if a similar disaster struck the American coast. Essentially, I’ve been watching my own research on live TV.

And, no, I’m not looking at the release of Shaken as perfect timing, like a ‘ripped-from-the-headlines’ Law & Order episode. Quite the opposite. When I woke up to see the first news reports of the tragedy in Japan, my first thought was, “I can’t believe it actually happened.” When researching and writing the novel, I knew such a violent disaster had occurred before and would likely happen again. But I honestly didn’t think it would be in my lifetime, not on the massive scale I chose to depict in Shaken.

Shaken is intended to be a fast & fun story for young adults, and I sincerely hope it will be appreciated as such, even though it’s going to be released a mere five months after the tragedy in Japan, where thousands lost their lives. I’d hate to think the average reader would assume I’m an author trying to profit from such a catastrophic event (though I was permitted to amend the opening chapter to acknowledge the Japan quake). Based on previous reactions from friends and students regarding the amount of time it took for the publication of my first novel, Killer Cows (Quake), some may not take realize it would be physically impossible to write, submit, edit and release Shaken in such a short time. It is simply coincidence that real life and a work of fiction are happening at roughly the same time

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The Ultimate Job

The New York Times just reported a study published in Gender and Society journal, which shows that male main characters in classic children’s books far outnumber female ones. This study looked at almost 6,000 books published between 1900 and 2000, and suggested this inequality could send the wrong message to impressionable children.

This report was also the topic of a story posted on AOL. Needless to say, there were quite a few comments from readers whom, more or less, said this was another example of political-correctness gone too far. Many other readers cited several classic books and novels where the main characters were female.

Whether or not I agree with the claim made in the study, mainly that the inequitable representations of males and females in children’s books have a severe impact on a child’s perception of gender, isn’t really why I’m writing this.

I’m writing because the five individuals (college professors) who conducted this study actually thought such a study was worth that much time, which one would think might be better spent teaching. And furthermore, that they were actually paid for their efforts. I’m writing because I want to know one thing…

Where can I get a job like this?

Performing a study on whatever pops into your head sounds like an awesome job. I can just see these authors pondering something to occupy their time, perhaps sitting together at a big round table, sucking down their $5.00 Starbucks coffees…

AUTHOR #1: Hey, let’s count the percentages of males versus females in all those old books we grew up with! Then we’ll develop a theory why all those beloved classics are bad for kids!

AUTHOR #2: Yeah, yeah! Good idea! I’ll bet no one has thought of that! We can make it sound like having kids reading these books is as bad as giving them heroin!

AUTHOR #3: Sounds good. I’d much rather spend years analyzing old children’s books than trying to solve the problem of making sure all kids can actually read them.

AUTHOR #4: Hey, wait a minute. We’re gonna get paid for this, right?

AUTHOR #1: Of course we are. It’s a study. We’re university professors. If it’s important to us, it will be important to all.

AUTHOR #4: I’m sold.

AUTHOR #5: Yeah, but what about all those animal books? A lot of the most famous children’s books in history feature animals, and their sex is never revealed, like Winnie the Pooh.

AUTHOR #2: Are you kidding? Winnie the Pooh is totally a guy.

AUTHOR #5: How do you know? Ever met a guy named Winnie?

AUTHOR #2: Well…no. But A.A. Milne calls Winnie a ‘he.‘ And when Disney started making the cartoons, they gave the character a male voice.

AUTHOR #3: That’s it! Since Milne’s dead, let’s go after Disney! Those sexist bastards!

AUTHOR #1: People, people, let’s focus on one thing at a time. We’ll go after Disney next year. In the meantime…inequality of gender in children’s books. Focus people!

AUTHOR #5: I’m sort of troubled that A.A. Milne refers to Pooh as a ‘he’, even though it’s just a stuff animal. Milne should have used he/she, just like I do when I word my dissertations to offend as few people as possible. I’m also troubled by the fact that, if Pooh is a male, he’s presented in illustrations without a penis. Last time I checked, all males have penises. If Pooh is a male, yet shown without a penis, what signal is that sending to kids? That‘s okay for a male not to have one? What exactly is Milne’s agenda, here? Is he saying that a penisless man is powerless?

AUTHOR #3: You know, that actually makes sense. After all, countless pieces of classic art and literature use the phallus as a symbol of power. Maybe it’s no small coincidence that the only character in the Pooh books who’s undoubtedly male is Christopher Robin, the one character wearing pants in order to conceal his dominant manhood. And have you noticed that, in all of those Pooh books, none of the characters can solve their problems without enlisting Christopher Robin, the one character we know has a penis? Maybe Milne is saying that a penis equals power.

AUTHOR #2: Maybe Pooh’s penis is just really small and hidden by his fur. If that’s the case, then Winnie the Pooh books actually send a positive message to young male readers…that having a small penis doesn’t make you less of a man.

AUTHOR #4: Not according to my ex-wife.

AUTHOR #3: Come on, guys. If Milne wasn’t trying to assert the superiority of males, then why didn’t he create Christine Robin?

AUTHOR #1: Everyone stop! You’re losing focus again! We’re studying gender inequality in kids’ books! And, by the way, any book that would dare make men feel good about themselves is a bad book. Don’t you know that already?

AUTHOR #4: Okay, then. Gender inequality. I think there’s plenty of-

AUTHOR #2: I know! Goodnight Moon! A sexist tale if there ever was one!

AUTHOR #5: What? You are kidding? How is Goodnight Moon sexist? It features a female mouse taking care of her babies.

AUTHOR #2: Exactly! Where’s the husband? Probably out on the town while the wife assumes her society-established, stay-at-home role of the glorified housekeeper! And what is she doing in the book? She‘s knitting…a chick activity if there ever was one.

AUTHOR #1: Hey…enough of that. Say the word chick again and I’ll have your tenure revoked.

AUTHOR #2: Sorry, sorry. But why isn’t the old woman whispering hush doing so while changing the oil in her car or something? You know…something that might empower a woman and make young readers understand they don’t have to fit into a predetermined role?

AUTHOR #5: Hey, the author, Margaret Wise Brown, was a woman. I seriously doubt she had a sexist agenda.

AUTHOR #3: Ms. Brown was probably oppressed by some domineering husband. Maybe even A.A. Milne himself.

AUTHOR #1: Look, we’re not gonna analyze each individual author’s agenda. That’s too much work. Let’s keep it simple…tally up the boy characters and girl characters, and if the results turn out how we like, we’ll publish our assertions. Remember, our task is to discover gender inequality in innocent children’s books, then condemn them for their gender bias.

AUTHOR #5: But what about the countless books with animal characters in which their gender isn’t ever made clear?

AUTHOR #1: Hmmm…that does tend to complicate things a bit.

AUTHOR #3: I got it! We’ll separate the non-gender animal books from the others, and later insist all the illustrations be redrawn, giving all the animals penises or vaginas. Then we can do this study all over again, making sure there are an equal number of penises and vaginas in every children’s book…and if not, we can condemn those books, too!

AUTHOR #1: Thinking ahead. I like that. We can make the same money all over again, with half the effort.

Sounds like an awesome job, huh? Simply develop a sense of moral outrage over some timeless classics that have enchanted and inspired people for generations, then use your intellect to inform everyone how wrong they are for allowing these books in their houses. And if you can relate your findings to its potential effect on kids…well, you’re on Easy Street.

New eBook Short: "Bottom of the Well"

I have a new story coming out from Echelon Press, who also released Killer Cows. The cover was sent to me last night, and I think it looks pretty cool, totally reflecting the tone of the story.


As for the story itself, “Bottom of the Well” is my take on the logical outcome of mankind’s fate if vampires actually existed. I’ve never been a huge fan of vampire stories, especially in recent year, where every vampire is not so much a nasty bloodsucker as they are a pale, misunderstood emo teenager who loves someone else while hating themselves.

And really…vampires stopped being scary a long time ago, roughly after Bela Lugosi first donned a black cape (though I must admit, 30 Days of Night was almost scary, and not half bad).

Anyway, “Bottom of the Well” de-romanticizes the whole vampire legend. The main character is a teenage vampire named Nona, hopelessly wandering a future post-apocalyptic world in a futile search for blood. The problem is that, over the centuries, as vampires increased in numbers, the human population dwindled to the point where there is no one left to feed upon. Now Nona, as well as everyone else, suffer from starvation, but are unable to die…sort of a living Hell.

The end of mankind is told in flashback scenes, mostly centered on another vampire, Casper Fairchild, a militant activist who noticed the dwindling human population before anyone else, and realized, if action wasn’t taken, the world would indeed be crawling with the starving undead. Against the wishes of the World Coven (leaders of the vampire underworld), he ‘outs’ himself to the world and offers a proposal which will save the human population while allowing vampires to continue to feed. This does not sit well with the world, and Nona discovers that most humans would rather die of their own accorded then serve themselves up as cattle. The ensuing war between humans and the undead pretty much destroys the world.

The story is also a parable about the consequences of squandering natural resources without thinking of the long term consequences. Though pretty dark, “Bottom of the Well’ is a story intended for young adults, and I’m happy with how it turned out. I hope you’ll check it out when it is finally released on Amazon, Omnilit and other eBook outlets.

In the meantime, I love the cover. Thanks to Karen Syed (my publisher) for her creative design.

Movies of Mass Destruction, Part 2: The Poseidon Adventure

Once again, to celebrate the upcoming publication of my young adult disaster novel, Shaken, it's time to take a look back at another classic movie that could only have come from the 1970s.

Irwin Allen’s The Poseidon Adventure was the real start of the 70's disaster movie trend, laying down the blueprint which would be followed by countless subsequent films: a very brief set-up, then the big crisis, followed by various Hollywood stars forced to deal with their dilemma, half of whom will die. While 1970's Airport had some elements of the disaster movie formula, the main focus was on the various characters and subplots. Not so with The Poseidon Adventure; the characters in this one exist either to provide exposition or be killed. The real stars of the movie are the special effects team and set designers; the film looks great, and while the special effects may seem a bit quaint in the wake of Titanic, they are still pretty impressive.


The story is a simple one: On her final voyage, the ocean liner, S.S. Poseidon, is hit by a massive tidal wave, which capsizes the ship. Most of the passengers are in the ballroom celebrating the new year, and when the wave hits, they are tossed about like rag dolls, falling through glass, getting squashed by tables, pianos, dinner carts, etc. The few survivors, led by Reverend Frank Scott (Gene Hackman), must now make their way through the capsized ship to reach the hull, and hope for a rescue before it sinks for good. Coming along for the ride are Red Buttons, Carol Lynley, Shelley Winters, Roddy McDowell, Stella Stevens and Ernest Borgnine, among others.

The actors do a pretty decent job with the silly script, which features some groan inducing dialogue - if you can get through the laughably bad first thirty minutes, The Poseidon Adventure offers a great time, with such destructive thrills as underwater explosions, passengers getting crushed or pummeled by torrents of water, Shelley Winter’s dress hiking up to reveal her massive underpants (after which time you’ll want to gouge your eyes out).

The movie also introduces several elements to the disaster movie formula that would become standard in many later films: the character who exists solely to contradict every idea the hero has; a sappy song interlude (in hopes of garnering an easy Oscar nod, which this one did); the “company man” who’s obsession with the bottom-dollar threatens everyone; dozens of extras whose collectively stupid behavior in the face of danger kills them all; the couple who fall in love (or rekindle their love) only so one of them can die; a totally obnoxious (or sickeningly cute) kid whom you wish would die but almost never does.

Warner Brothers remade this movie a few years back. While the special effects are better, it doesn‘t have the goofy charm of the original.